Modern society makes it a priority to deceive men on the topic of everything pertaining to sex, sexuality and sexual dynamics. Not just female sexuality, as most of the right-leaning spheres on the internet already know, but also on male sexuality, specifically the way male sexual desire works, what it’s tied to and how to nurture it without becoming a slave to it.
This is why I decided to share my own musings on the topic in today’s essay.
Desire
I remember reading something a few years ago that really resonated with me and stuck with me since as a consequence. I can’t remember where it was exactly, either on one of the manosphere/manosphere-adjacent sites or on 4chan, but the gist of it was as follows “Desire is like a flame, if you stifle it in public it will also be less potent in private”. This was referring to a inquiry on how to handle checking out other girls while in public with one’s girlfriend (or wife). The idea is that by stifling your instinctive response of wanting to check out a hot girl white outside with your girlfriend you are stifling your libido - this doing both of you a disservice.
Yourself, because you are missing out on a nice view, but more importantly because you are putting yourself in your girl’s frame and thus lowering your testosterone and consequently, libido. And your girl as a consequence of stifling your libido, because you won’t be able to fuck her properly.
I think about this every now and then, and recently the topic of masturbation came up as I was with my friends, which is where things clicked into place for me to be able to provide a coherent model of male sexual desire.
Sexual desire as a flame
The desire as flame metaphor works pretty well. Before we go into why that is manifests, it should be noted that it is obviously connected to testosterone. And while a lack of testosterone will result in loss of desire, it should also be understood that stifling instinctive responses of momentarily heightened desire because of social pressure will result in your testosterone dropping - this is the simplest reason why such practice is unhealthy. It goes deeper than that however.
If sexual desire is a flame, objects of desire are fuel. It thus cannot exist without an object (or multiple objects) of desire to fixate onto. It has a passive state, where fixations onto objects of desire are momentary (such as having your attention drawn to a hot girl in you vicinity) and an active state, where your fixation on an object of desire is more permanent and focused (wanting to fuck a particular girl or girls - such as your girlfriend, a classmate from college or the barista from the local bar). In the active state, you are drawn toward taking steps to sate your desire (in plain words: to fuck the woman you want), in the passive state, its only a momentary focusing of attention.
In both the passive and active form, stifling the instinctive responses to your desire welling up will lead to an eventual drop in desire (and testosterone, as a consequence). Think of it as having the same effect cutting off the flame’s oxygen supply. Embracing them, on the other hand will lead to an increase.
In order for a man to be sexually healthy, he needs to be consistently exposed to sexually desirable women, while also having an outlet (or multiple outlets) for this desire - a wife, girlfriend or plate(s).
Fixation as a consequence of availability
In the above section I mentioned fixation as part of the active form of sexual desire. Fixation happens not only when the girl is attractive, but when she is also (perceived as) available - meaning that you can conceptualize of a way to sate your desire - to fuck her. Sure, models and actresses are hot… Oh who am I kidding, not in the current year. Let’s try again. Sure, IG and OF thots are hot, but you don’t see normal (healthy) men becoming infatuated with them. It’s much more common to develop a “crush” on a classmate, coworker or some other girl that you are frequently in contact with. The simps that become obsessed with IG/OF thots are a new phenomenon, but it is a manifestation of the same thing - they have an actual personal relationship with the girl they obsess over (or so they think, in reality, it’s her social media manager). With this in mind, we can conclude that desirability is a function of attractiveness and (perceived) availability, the latter being a function of positive interactions with the girl in question - the more positive interactions you have with her, the more available you will perceive her to be.
This is basically just a fancier way of stating that a girl becomes hotter when she is into you.
What happens however, when there are no desirable women in your life? In other words, when you can’t think of any girl that is both sufficiently attractive and sufficiently available (you actually have positive interactions with) for you to actually fixate onto? This is where your libido turns to substitute objects of desire, such as pornography, anime, e-girls etc. Enter: masturbation, pornography and nofap. First let’s examine the flatline phenomenon experienced by nofappers in order to consolidate our understanding of desire.
Flatlining on nofap
Those of you who are familiar with the concept of nofap probably know what flatlining is. For those of you who aren’t, nofap is a movement that preaches abstinence from pornography and masturbation, due to the various ill effects both things have on the male psyche and body. Flatlining is a period of decreased sexual desire and arousal that many practicing nofappers encounter in their attempt to beat their porn and masturbation addiction.
An important thing to keep in mind is that it’s often the men that are sexually unsuccessful with women AND addicted to porn that usually end up trying nofap. There exist men that fuck on the regular while also jerking it off to porn and thus never feel the need to try quitting their porn and masturbation habit.
I think it’s very possible that men who regularly have sex while also masturbating, who then decide to drop the masturbation habit, would not end up experiencing flatline.
Flatlining is in my opinion, a consequence of the initial substitution of (real life) women as objects of desire for pornography as object of desire. This happens because the man in question lacks positive interactions with women in his daily life. Therefore, when he quits pornography cold turkey, his libido suddenly has nothing to fixate onto - hence, the flatline - a dormant state that lasts until your sexual desire is suddenly reawakened by a positive interaction with a sufficiently attractive woman.
So far we’ve learned that desire needs to be stoked, like a flame, in order to grow in a healthy manner. We must avoid stifling it, but as shown by chronic masturbators, we must also avoid stoking it artificially, because that leads to all sorts of bad outcomes. Desire must be stoked naturally, passively or actively in the form of pursuing a desirable woman. We should avoid other forms of active arousal, especially those that include the viewing of explicit sexual acts and end in beating our meat. It may not be immediately obvious why, so let’s get into the reasons.
Owning space
Let’s start off with BAP’s insight from Bronze Age Mindset (emphasis mine):
“Chimp in state of nature never jerks off, but in captivity he does, wat does this mean? In state of nature he’s too busy, to put plainly. He is concerned with mastering space: solving problem of life in and under trees, mastering what tools he can, mastering social relations in the jockeying for power and status. Deprived of this drive to development and self-increase he devolves to pointless masturbation, in captivity, where he senses he is in owned space and therefore the futility of all his efforts and all his actions.”
In other words, chimps only jerk off in a state of captivity, not in their natural habitat. The difference is the space they occupy. In their natural habitat, chimps occupy unowned space and thus are driven to mastering it and owning it. This drive leaves no time for pointless masturbation. In captivity, the chimp feels it is inhabiting already owned space, space he can thus never truly master and own - therefore devolving into pointless self-”pleasure”.
BAP’s concept of ownership of space is a truly brilliant insight into the fundamental dynamics of life, which is exactly why it doesn’t surprise me in the slightest that modern SOYence has failed to independently discover it.
In order to understand why exactly the inability to own (a) space leads to masturbation, we must first understand what it means to own said space. Let’s take chimps as an example. When chimps jockey for power and status, as BAP puts it, the result is the establishment of a dominance hierarchy with an alpha chimp at the top. This alpha chimp is now the owner of the area that his pack inhabits - successful jockeying for status results in ownership of space. The alpha chimp has special privileges when it comes to mating with the females - he is the only one who can freely copulate, all the other males risk getting attacked by the alpha chimp for trying to copulate. We can see now that owning a space also means owning all the females that inhabit it - exclusive reproductive access. While this space is owned by peers, there exists the drive to conquer it for oneself. When the space is owned by an unassailable entity, the drive goes away, because the prospect of overcoming it is hopeless.
To put this into the context of human society - why are the most sexually prolific men always those who form a variety of groups, with the shared characteristic of resembling packs of predatory animals? Gangsters, musicians in bands, athletes that compete in teams, frat bros… Even just regular guys, outside as a group, emboldened by their numbers and the bonds of friendship and kinship, sauntering around and acting like they own the place?
Humans are social animals, but more importantly, men are pack hunters. Moving across space in small groups was the essence of life in our distant ancestors’ lifetimes and thus it is when we imitate this pattern of behavior that we are closest to them and in turn, closest to the primal essence of being a man.
A man owns his home, or at least, he used to - in the modern world this is no longer a given. But this is a static form of ownership. Groups, or more accurately, packs of men can temporarily (in the event of a one-time outing, such as drinking at the beach) or semi-permanently (such as a specific hangout spot) lay claim to a particular subset of unowned territory, transforming it into owned space and reaping all of the benefits of ownership. Another aspect of owning space is the ability to transgress overarching social norms. A man is king in his home, else why would old Biblical marriage compel a wife to always be sexually available to her husband? In that sense, forcefully having your way with a woman in "the wild” was rape, but forcefully having your way with your wife in your home was performing your marital duties as a couple.
Space is owned by those men who best exemplify the characteristics that let you master that particular space. In this sense, in the absence of its formal owner, the gym is “owned” by the biggest guy(s) in it. The rock show venue is owned by the band that headlined tonight’s show. The school is owned by the group of guys who are both physically imposing and socially dominant. If this is not true, why is working out shirtless reserved only for the top 10% of biggest guys at the gym?
Frame
The concept of owning space is a sub-concept of ownership in and of itself. Before owning space, you must first own yourself - be unapologetic about the way you are and the way you present yourself - which is what the redpillers mean when they talk about “frame”. Your frame is your version of reality, projected into the external world and your interactions in it. It’s how you present yourself and interact with other people. Whenever 2 or more people interact, they are (consciously or subconsciously) trying to draw the other person(s) into their frame. Whoever manages to establish their frame over the frame of the others establishes the boundaries and rules of the subsequent interactions. In the context of frame, owning space can be understood as establishing and projecting a frame of “I own this place”.
Let’s say you are trying to present yourself as a player - you do so by establishing an “I know exactly what I’m doing and I could just as easily be doing this with half a dozen other girls right now” frame in your interactions via body language and the way you engage with the girl you’re chatting up. The girl will shit test you - try to break your frame by calling you out on your bluff in some way - in order to see whether you’re the real deal or just a poser. Backing down in this case means losing frame, successfully deflecting or powering through her shit test means you get to keep presenting yourself as a player - you get to hold frame. Another example is when you’re trying to get a girl to come over to your house - if you make it obvious that you’re just inviting her to come hook up, she might be reluctant; if you frame it in some other way, she might be more inclined - even if the desired end result is the same in both cases. One last and very current year example. When the WHO and government officials say the vaxx is safe and effective despite vaxxed people getting sick at similar or higher rates as unvaxxed and a very significant increase in all-cause-mortality following vaxx rollout in late 2020 and early 2021, they are projecting their frame (their version of reality) onto the world. Normies of course gobble it up, because the power of someone’s frame is a function of social dominance and plausibility - the bigger the alpha, the more implausibility he gets away with. And in the modern world, the government is the biggest alpha of them all.
Captivity
The prerequisite to having sex is that a woman makes herself available to you, which is itself predicated on you owning space. Exactly why this is so, I am not sure at this point in time, but it may tie in to the fact that in owned space you are “safe” from interruptions from sexual competitors, whereas in unowned space you are not. In space owned by a higher entity, you are subjected to interruptions from it instead.
Thus it makes sense that the inability to own space (ie. captivity) would lead to masturbation. Modern man is held captive by the bureaucratic institutions that govern the society he lives in, by the stifling social norms drilled into him by the indoctrination centers called schools and by the hyperstimuli (pornography, video games…) that he uses to sate his desires in the absence of the possibility of true satiation. The only escape from this reality for the unawakened man is in pack outings, where he may recapture the spirit of our ancestors for a night.
Now, captivity is obviously bad, so masturbation as its consequence is likely also bad. But is that all there is to it? Or is there something more?
Masturbation
As I’ve mentioned before in the relationship between testosterone and libido, the relationships between these things are not one-way streets. Just as captivity (being a slave) leads to acting like a slave, so does acting like a slave while free eventually turn you into a slave.
Now, most men who are not too far gone already can easily accept the reality that porn is bad for you. A minimal dose of the red pill is needed to realise that most, if not all, aspects of modernity are bad for the soul - therefore anything that is being praised in the current year should be avoided. This may be an overly reductive heuristic, but it suffices most of the time. If we take the fact that the powers that be want nothing but the worst for us, why would porn be free, if it wasn’t poisonous? Masturbation itself however, is a different issue. There’s a two specific ideas in our public consciousness that contribute to the excusing of masturbation.
First of all, there’s the maxim “Everything in moderation”. I disagree. As was so eloquently put in a guide to living healthy I read last year: We are nothing if not fanatics. There are such things that are fine in moderation, but there’s also things that must be avoided altogether. Masturbation is one of the latter. Second is the idea that “Doctors advise masturbating once a week for prostate health”. Now, I don’t know much about the specifics of male endocrinology and urology, outside of a general feeling about which behaviors are testosterone-positive and which are testosterone-negative, but this doesn’t sound right to me. It’s possible that ejaculating once a week promotes prostate health, but said health benefits are surely offset by the deleterious psychological effects of masturbation. And even then, I’m not sure that these health benefits are real, given the practice of semen retention in ancient esoteric traditions.
On the flip side, masturbation has very real negative effects, even when you take porn out of the equation. Everyone knows that pornography leads to more explicit, more deranged pornography, but you don’t need porn for masturbation to be unhealthy. As this anon so eloquently puts, the experience of post nut clarity differs depending on how your orgasm was achieved. If you reach orgasm through sex with a woman (you love), post nut clarity is a blissful state of relaxation, if by masturbation it is a shameful drop down to reality from your previous high. Repeated occurences of this lead to establishing an association between physical pleasure and negative emotions - metastrophilia.
This begs the question of why would you feel shame after jerking yourself off to orgasm? It’s not simply because “society says it’s bad” - modern society says it’s good. There is something instinctive about the sterile spilling of seed that makes us feel bad. Semen is the life-giving fluid that fertilizes a woman’s egg. With this in mind, you can conceptualize the spilling of your seed as you sacrificing a part of your life energy - or as it’s known in various esoteric traditions: chi, prana, bioenergy or vril. The difference between spilling your seed into a tissue and into a woman is that in the former case this energy is lost, whereas in the latter case, the life energy is transferred to the woman, who (especially when in a healthy relationship with the man) can return that energy to him through future positive interactions.
In order to become elite men, we must emulate elite men. Does anyone really believe the aristocrats of old jerked off? Certainly not when they had plenty of whores at their disposal. It’s much better to sate your desire with a prostitute than by beating your meat. And while ejaculating into a condom or onto a woman’s back is just as sterile as ejaculating into a tissue, there is something specifically lowly about bringing yourself to an aroused state with simulations of real women and busting a nut into a tissue.
Circling back to the topic of desire and how to nurture it without becoming a slave to it - just as it is wrong to stifle natural spikes in desire (you don’t need to act on them, merely allow them and their immediate consequences to be), brought on by noticing or interacting with hot girls, so it is wrong to bypass this natural process with artificial stimuli such as images and videos of naked women, especially naked women getting fucked by other men. Seeing an attractive woman outside requires making yourself presentable, going outside and to a place where such women gather, seeing an attractive woman on your computer merely requires a few clicks of your mouse. One rewards productive behavior, the other rewards mindless hedonism and leads to you becoming a slave to your desire.
Reject the urge to masturbate, reject modern soyence telling you it’s ok to do it and channel your life energy into something productive instead.